The history & baggage of the man you married …. and of the woman who is now a member of your family.
Jeanie comments that her relationship with her MIL has definitely been colored by the history of her husband with his parents.
Does it make sense that the flavor, atmosphere and temperature of a man’s relationship with his parents is, to some extent, inherited by his wife? If so, the MIL/DIL doesn’t really start out with a clean slate on which they can write the chapters of their relationship. Would you say that there is a prologue? A foreword, perhaps? Could you call this a pre-existing condition? What does a MIL/DIL do with those? Can they be ignored, disregarded, put aside? Overcome? Can a DIL help resolve some of the issues? Should she even attempt to do so? Is it inevitable that she will take sides? How difficult is it to remain objective? Does the MIL assume that her DIL feels similarly to her husband and agrees with how he has interacted or does interact ? When two become one, do they always act as a team when relating to his parents? Should they?
People have told me that I ask really good questions. Sure wish I had some really good answers!