Archive | August 2013

Never Met Her MIL

What can cause a “train wreck” in a MIL/DIL relationship?

“I never met my mother-in-law in the 28 years Russell and I were married!”

(No, that isn’t it!  Keep reading.)

Bobbie Jo writes “When I met Russell, he had been divorced three years from his first wife.  I was astonished when I found out that he didn’t know where his mother or his father were (they had divorced years earlier).


When we got married, he contacted his mother and told her he was divorced three years from his first wife and had just gotten married to me!  We kept in touch occasionally by mail and when our first child was about two, we made plans to go to Florida so Harriet could meet me and her other grandchild.  However, Harriet was considerably older than her second husband, and she didn’t want anyone to know her age.  Thirty-two year-old-Russell showing up would make people wonder!  Harriet made it clear that she did not want to be called “Grammie.”  Russell was hurt and very mad and told her to forget it, we weren’t coming.  So, Harriet never met me, my daughter or my son.  Her loss.  Correspondence stopped after that.  End of story.


My feelings about it?  I thought it very sad that her ego was more important than meeting her new daughter-in-law and her grandchildren.  I never missed her because I didn’t know her to begin with.”


Definitely a lesson to be learned in this story!

MIL Squared?

A Classic Mother of the Groom Tshirts

That’s the label my sister pinned on me the day after our older son married his sweetheart –  “MIL Squared”.

So, now I am a mother-in-law twice over.  Or, to put it in another way, I’m a MIL to two DILS.  Sounds to me like there are more opportunities here – to learn from, practice, experience and enjoy that very special relationship to the women my sons have chosen as their “one-and-only”s.

Perhaps now I’ll become twice as good, twice as fast??